Happy together
When animals jump species to find friends, or acquaintances . . . or something
We don’t choose our kids’ friends.
Usually things turn out well. We may not always understand the connection at first, but we appreciate the camaraderie, the shared experiences, the varied perspectives.
Sometimes, though, you just scratch your head.
This month, Hector found a new friend. Or acquaintance. Or something. Maybe it’s a pet? Whatever it is, I’ve never seen anything like it.
Hector is my 3-foot green tree iguana. The new guest is a 4-inch skink, of the southeastern five-lined variety.
And whatever is going on, it’s . . . unexpected.
And people get hung up on what?
People have this uncanny ability to find each other’s differences, no matter how similar we really are.Animals do, too. Of course they do.
But when they don’t, it’s a stark reminder that life is easier when we just decide to get along.
Sure, there’s symbiosis. Those animals get along because, at this point, they pretty much have to. Neither one could survive without the other.
Anemone and clownfish, crocodiles and plovers, oxen and oxpeckers.
(That last one was new to me. I’ll leave it at that.)
Sometimes, though . . . sometimes things are not so easily explained.
Me and you, and you and me
In an age of ubiquitous cell phone cameras and social media, there’s no shortage of Oh-My-Word-How-Adorable clips of animal odd-couples hanging out.Everyone has their favorites—share in the comments below, would love to see them!!—but virality doesn’t rule out well-documented research.
When I was growing up, there was Koko and her kitten. They were everywhere. Koko was a gorilla, adept at sign language, and when her handlers gave her a kitten, the two became incredibly close.
There was some academic back and forth on what Koko was or was not saying, or experiencing, but the legacy of research and public engagement endured.
Fast forward to today, and there’s not only plenty of research that animals can have friends within their own species, but there’s also plenty of research looking at friendships across species-species boundaries.
Animals seem to see each other regardless of similarities or differences.
It all starts with “threat” or “no-threat” – and once you’re in the no-threat camp, anything is possible.
No matter how they tossed the dice, it had to be
Clearly, Hector sees the skink as no-threat. That the skink feels the same? That’s a surprise.Hector scares even me. I love her to bits, but every time she climbs around my neck, I get nervous. Somehow, though, those two have decided to co-exist.
The skink moved in about a month ago.
That part’s normal. Our yard is wild.
We have half an acre, abutting many acres of conserved land.
Around our bird feeder, we’ll get deer, groundhogs, squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits, raccoons (or, trash pandas, per local parlance), possums, foxes, skinks, insects, and, well, birds.
Sometimes it’s all at once, more or less, depending on the time of day.
Come around just before dusk, and it looks like that clip from Snow White (you know the one . . . all tra la la – just without the dancing brunette).
Our house was built in 1951. Cracks and gaps and holes are part of the charm. The critters find their way.
So, skinks in the house, this is not new. They run around, they eat insects. They pass through.
Until they don’t?
The only one for me is you, and you for me
She arrived like all the others. (I’m fairly sure she’s a she, based on her size and appearance.)She skittered around, ate stuff off the floor.
A few days passed and she was still occasionally walking through. Still not unheard of.
Then I came in one day and there she was, on Hector’s back.
All sorts of things ran through my head. “Outside germs!!” “Hector will get annoyed and chomp her!!” “She’s going to starve!!”
But, she survived.
And then it happened again, she climbed on Hector’s back. Then again, except now she was on Hector’s head. Then on her mouth. (Yup.)
Then she pretty much moved in.
So happpy togehhtherrrrr*
I can’t think of many animals I’d let climb on my mouth.There are only a handful I’d feel comfortable letting climb onto my head (Hector being one of them, though per my earlier note, with some nerves).
By now, Hector and the skink seem cool with just about anything. It’s a coin toss whether they’re hanging together or just hanging out together – the sure sign of any healthy relationship.
I’ve walked in to see Hector in bed in her cave/closet, and our new guest is sunning herself under the lamp alone. Or, as I write this, the skink is catching sun rays right next to me while Hector catches lamp rays on her beanbag.
Are they friends? Maybe not.
There’s not a lot of play happening. Of course, Hector’s not one to play (unless sitting and staring is considered play?).
They do seem happy, though.
They’re cool sharing the same space. They don’t always feel compelled to talk. They tolerate each other, even when one of them is being super annoying.
They’re basically married.
I have no idea what is going on. But, it makes me happy, too.

Thanks for visiting! If you read it, please repost it, so others can find it! Last Week in Someday, in Science: When we boldly go, should we go to Super Puff planets? For more on When Pets Have Pets—possibly the most famous cross-species pair in history—check out Koko and her kitten via the Gorilla Foundation at https://www.koko.org. They have everything from kids content to research data, and have maintained Koko’s legacy of inspiring compassion.
Post-credits scene: Considering how common cross-species relationships are, it’s surprising that there aren’t more movies about aliens keeping people as pets. There’s a weird cartoon one from the 70s, apparently, but my friend Dan Curry also suggested This Island Earth, the 1950s scifi classic. Not with humans as pets, but humans as (spoiler alert!) a subjugated race. Either way, a lesson in how we’re not guaranteed a place as the Owner in the universal Pet-Owner dynamic. (For me, I always remembered the film for how the aliens say the word “mutant”...rhymed with “you can’t”, always made me giggle.)
*If you don’t have “Happy Together” by The Turtles going through your head by now, I can’t help you. Growing up in the 80s, it was a constant—modified—on TV, in this commercial for Golden Grahams cereal. (The YouTube video of the Turtles playing the song in 1967 has been watched 37 million times. Lyrics are here.)






I see a children’s book in the making. She is already Liz in my mind. No idea why except Hector and Liz sound like nice neighbors
Adore this in every way. Sometimes I feel like a skink. Sometimes I don’t🙂